youre lurking in front of me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
