That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
