we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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