I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
