and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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