he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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