I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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