That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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