i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
