Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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