we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
