we're blogging at a bar
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
