how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm at about main and main street
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
