I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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