I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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