bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
