look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
