thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
