i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
