she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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