last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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