she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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