I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
