One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
