This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
