i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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