She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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