I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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