You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
