my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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