I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
