you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
