If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
