Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
