honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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