Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
