So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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