As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize