We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
