I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
