Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
