i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The Olympian is in my bed
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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