I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
