you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
