he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
