batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
