i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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