is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
