you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
