They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
someone owes me an orgasm
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
i out mim tonsoeep
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
