Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize