Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
