I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
