Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize