I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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