im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
