People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
