im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize