I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
