Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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