Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
