he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
