It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize