that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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