Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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