matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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