Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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