I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
