well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
